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Category Archives: Starter

THREE STAR PORN

QUESTIONS QUESTIONS QUESTIONS

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01dllbj

Why is India Fisher – who someone on Digital Spy recently described as an “aggravating, breathy droner” – ever more firmly channeling Chris Morris c.1994 in full-on Michael Burke mode?

Why can’t Sergio Herman, bearing a remarkable resemblance to Ed O’Brien from Radiohead, stop switching poutily between Michelin-drunk commandeur and pissant rock star? Nice jacket, though.

Why did Shelina get so stiffed with her three-star-kitchen task, being forced to make something that looked like an upmarket doner kebab with half the brigade staring at her and giggling?

Why hilarious whub whub pseudo-dubstep over the prep?

Why do I still have to sit through fifty near-identical reaction shots rather than even get the tiniest hint of how Andrew made his ten-out-of-fucking-ten potato leaf and potato cup fondue starter?