Category Archives: Channel 5

and finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin mint

“Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags.”

Thank you, sir, and now the check.

So, me and my friends would regularly chatter on about last night’s Masterchef or the merits of Slater over Stein.  Eventually, those who did not care for food-based telly programmes (I know, they do exist!) cried ‘shut up and blog it!’.  So, here we are.  It has taken me some time but, once outside of my Masterchef bubble, I have realised just how many cookery shows there are!  Bloody loads.

It was requested that I compile a list of current shows so my fellow bloggers won’t miss a morsel.  Happy to oblige.  It took me a while and I’m considering posting a permanent weekly/monthly list so our readers can also keep up.   Read the rest of this entry »


Oh god, what the fvck am I doing with my life?

…said Marco Pierre White, in the car on the way to Kitchen Wars.

Kitchen Wars is a format that should work. Sort of. Bastardly chef goes around the country selecting chefs for an X Factor-type showdown. Except there’s already been a kitchen X Factor, it was that thing to find the great British dish or something a few years ago and after the endless rolling Masterchef regimen and the soaring, triumphant wonderfulness of the Great British Menu what it was decided we needed in the schedule was something slightly like that but with no cooking depicted and an overarching air of sexism.

“She already knows what I think of women who talk too much” begins Marco, as the Kitchen Wars truck sets down in Liverpool. Good, well, that’s an excellent start to that coveted prize of ‘worst host on a cookery related programme.’ Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on June 17, 2012 in Channel 5, Marco Pierre White