During a recent trip to a well known supermarket (OK we’ve got the product placement symbol, so it was Sainsbury’s!) I heard a pre-recorded tannoy announcement for a brand new ‘culinary chat show’. Oh, the joy. After a hard week at work I thought I may have imagined it but, no. I tuned in to watch episode two and, readers, I tried but I failed to get any further than 20 minutes in.
Of course, it’s only natural for there to be teething problems or for chemistry between the presenters to develop but this is essentially Sunday Brunch and that’s not really a good thing. Our presenters are Lisa Faulkner, the woman who I still can’t forgive for winning Celebrity Masterchef over lovely Dick Strawbridge and housewives favourite, Ben Shepherd. Lisa’s cooking credentials are pretty sound, Ben on the other hand – no idea. And I may never find out.
The guests taking part were some actors from Shameless, just about to start it’s final series on Channel Four and a Sugarbabe. Yes, I wasn’t sure if they actually still existed but they do. They’re on a hiatus at the moment and lovely Heidi Range was there to tell us all about her Dancing on Ice experience and discuss grub. However, the opening question was “SO! Heidi, you’ve just moved house! How did that go?” Er … OK, a little bit random. That’s the kind of opening gambit for a friend over a bottle of wine but I suppose that’s what the creators of What’s Cooking are aiming for. There were numerous comments about her weight, how hot she looked in her American tan tights and sequins on the ice … just plain weird.
It’s been a while since I watched daytime telly so maybe this is what it’s all like. Does Pip Schofield letch on the ladies or does a loose woman leer at the lads?
The food? Almost forgot about the food. There was some poor, unfortunate soul in a check shirt being made to wander the aisles of the nearest Sainsbury’s. His task was to sex up a kebab or something. They cut to him live looking a bit chilly in the meat section where he declared that lamb would be his main ingredient. “But we had that yesterday!” cried Ben. Tough shit, Ben.
I never did get to see what this fella brought back to the studio but I’m sure it was tasty. I’ll never know.