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the gift that keeps on giving

24 Dec

Christmas at Fanny Towers arrived late this year.  Very late.  The tree went up on Saturday.  Oh, presents have been purchased alright, don’t worry Carsmile!  No, I’m not a Scrooge but when the bedroom ceiling falls in and the dust settles (literally), there are plasterers to be found and cleaning to do.  Having relocated drawers to the kitchen and bed frames to the bathroom we were doing all our ‘living’ in the living room.  No room for trees and tinsel.  Still, there is a lot of food and drink and mum didn’t have to swim all the way from Cornwall, so all is good!

Anyway, while searching for ham online, like you do, I found a site where you can buy a Serrano ham bone.  For your dog.  Really?  It’s less that £3.00 with free P+P.  Surely that would be wasted on your mut?  Or am I being too selfish?  Is there actually any reason why this bone can’t be used for a soup or for stock?  Hmmm, maybe it’s treated with something a bit yucky.  What’s the worst that can happen?  “Please note, this bone contains lots of natural juices which may stain.”  Mmmmmm, natural juices.  😀

This got me thinking about ideal gifts for the chef in your life.  At our recent trip to the BBC Good Food Show the tat on sale – I mean merchandise – was mainly Masterchef focused.  You could give your friend a mug, or an egg timer or how about an apron for your MC obsessed partner?  I’m not sure I approve of an apron being available to any Tom, Dick or Harry.  You have to EARN IT!  Do the BBC let you keep the apron once you’ve been kicked out of the kitchen?  Maybe the shot of you hanging it up on the coat hook is genuine and you never see it again.  Let’s hope that it is just for dramatic effect and you and the apron are reunited once more to begin a new journey in a new kitchen after a good old wash.

OK, so I’ve ruled out a MC apron but I have found an alternative for any rockers out there.  Iron Maiden, along with selling two kinds of red wine (already purchased for my ‘Wine Cellar That Rocks’ project) also sell some rather fetching beer/wine glasses as well as this apron.  That’s more like it!

Now that I am suitably attired, I need to cook something.  As an amateur cook, growing in confidence, I like to work from a recipe and love vintage cookbooks.  Here are some weird and wonderful examples at Abe Books – White Trash Cooking anybody?  Uh-oh, I fear I would need numerous copies of the Star Wars Cookbook in order to please my family and friends.  There’s also the Cooking With Coolio book and … well, do some research of your own and share with the class, I’d love to see all the strange and surreal titles out there.

I bought a secret santa present for a colleague last week.  Realising a mutual love of heavier music, I purchased Mosh Potatoes and will certainly buy myself a copy!  Who could resist Lita Ford’s black bean and corn salsa?  Or Andrew WK’s cheese ‘n’ egg party puffs?  I think my first attempt will be the recipe for Motorheadbangers’ hangover pie donated by Girlschool’s Jackie Chambers.  Rock on.

FOOD!  BLOODY FOOD!

FOOD! BLOODY FOOD!

RIGHT!  Apron.  Oui, chef.  Cookbook.  Oui chef.  Gadgets are what we are missing and, judging by all the telly I’ve been watching this year, no kitchen should be without a sous vide.  Seriously.  Only £250.00 at Lakeland.  Bargainous.  Failing that, how about a blow torch, that’s more like it.  Or, if you have difficulty at feeding time with the little ones, a fork.  Or is it a plane?  “I don’t take fruit to work these days because they get all squished on the commute, what am I to do?”  Well!  You need a fruit jacket, of course!

denture bottle opener skull egg barking hot dog cooker food tips

Now, these are ‘fun’, amirite?  Is there any reason I need my eggs to be square?  I NEED A REASON. Uh-oh, step away from the internet, Fanny.  Do I really need an ice bucket in the shape of a skull?  I think I do!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!  May the festive season bring you hangovers and indigestion – that’s how best to judge a good Christmas, no?

Just me then  😉

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3 Comments

Posted by on December 24, 2012 in Adventures in Cookery, Christmas

 

3 responses to “the gift that keeps on giving

  1. Fanny

    December 25, 2012 at 12:04 pm

    Hoorah! Presents from Carsmile included the Ian Thorpe cookbook and the aforementioned Iron Maiden apron \m/

     
  2. jpbibimbap

    December 25, 2012 at 10:54 pm

    I receive 1x wine diaper! Will be using it to transport our bottle of bourbon in our luggage.

    Wine diaper.

     
  3. Fanny

    December 27, 2012 at 9:34 am

    Ooooh! Wine seems so glamorous. Diapers … less so. I’ll have to see this in action when you return to Blighty!

     

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