friends with benefits

07 Mar

I often ask myself ‘why am I not friends with a chef off the telly?’

I am certainly friends with people who love to entertain, people who make a mean cocktail and people who do wonders with smoking and pulling stuff but, sorry, you’re no good to me until you’ve got your own show.  The ultimate experience would go something like this:
J: “Alright Fanny, it’s Jamie!  What you up to next week, bruv?  I’m doing my new show on Spanish food and need some of me mates to pop over and stuff their faces with my loverly grub.  You up for it?”
F: “Well, I suppose.  I was planning to clean out the cat litter, arrange my CD collection … yeah, why not?  Do I have to look hip?”

Many a time has my attention wandered as Nigella glides through her house with plates of food for a group of random people.  Are they neighbours being thanked for the inconvience of the film crew traipsing around?  Are they friends who are happy to appear on television looking like poshos?  Or are they actors?  Maybe, in the case of Maria McErlane, they’re all three!  I see Maria round Nigella’s ALL THE TIME.  How often does she return the favour do you think?

I’ve also spotted a familiar face or two round Jamie’s, playing with the kids or being manly with a barbeque.  Maybe Nigel doesn’t have any famous friends.  Or any friends.

Oh, go on then Nige – I’LL BE YOUR FRIEND  🙂



3 responses to “friends with benefits

  1. syllabubdobdee

    March 7, 2012 at 2:47 pm

    The problem seems to be that all telly chefs are required by law to (pretend to) be friends with Ultimate TurboC0ck Toby Young.

  2. chef de cuisine

    March 8, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    Well, ‘friends’ maybe but he is an actual food critic these days. Which gets me on to a completely separate issue. How do you get to become a critic of food and go to restaurants every day of the year? I still can’t take Tracey MacLeod seriously while she sits at the table next to the legends that are Rayner and Campion. To me she will always be the quietly spoken presenter of the Late Show.

  3. syllabubdobdee

    March 8, 2012 at 2:14 pm


    Basically, newspapers have been outsourcing “critical” commentary to (minor)* celebrities for some time now — viz Bono as editor of G2 — in a frantic attempt to retain readership, I think. And of course everyone eats, so the need for expertise isn’t what it might be with films or books or music or sport; and the copy can always be edited into shape.

    *In this case “celebrities” not really employable elsewhere.


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